Malice in Wonderland
by LeahKeehl13
Summary: Following Near down the rabbit hole turned out to be the worst choice of Mello's life! T for language.


**A/N- Death Note + Alice in Wonderland = Epic. Yes, I made Mello a girl... why? Cause I felt like it... And it really made no sense for everyone to call a boy Alice...**  
><strong>I really used a mix of Lewis Carrol's original story and Tim Burton's new movie.<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own twisted fantasies...<strong>

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><p>"Matt!" Mello called, pushing through the tall bushes outside of Wammy's house. "Matt- Ow! Fuck!" She stopped briefly to scrutinize the long scratch on her arm before continuing through the woods.<p>

"Matt, I'm gonna kill you! I called olly-olly-oxen-free, asshole!" She tripped over yet another root. "Fuck! Matt!" A flash of white caught her eye, "huh?"

It was Near... Except... Not quite. He was about a foot and a half tall, wearing an old fashioned suit and, strangest of all, had rabbit ears."

"Near," she called to the albino-rabbit-person-thing. He stopped momentarily, "have you seen Matt?"

He pulled out a pocket watch bigger than his head; it also had at least ten hands... He gestured at it, "I'm late! I'm late, for a very important date! No time to say goodbye... Hello!"

She had never heard Near say something so illogical. "...Wait!"

Near bounded off on all fours. "Near, you asshole...Oh what the hell..." Mello sighed and took off running after the small boy. She watched him disappear around a thick oak tree. Curiously, she peered around the trunk; at the base of the tree was a hole. A hole so deep and black that she couldn't see the bottom... "I should go tell Rodger that Near fell down a rabbit hold and can't possibly be L..." she muttered. "No, that's no good... Everyone would think that I pushed him..."

She got down on her hands and knees and called down into the pit, "Near! Near, you dumbass-"

_Crack!_ The root she was bracing herself on snapped, sending her tumbling face first into the pit before she had time to scream...

As she fell, she waved her arms and legs desperately, trying to grab hold of something; her foot struck a falling piano... She thanked god she wasn't wearing a dress at least.

The pit grew darker and darker as she fell farther from the surface and the patch of sky above her got smaller and smaller. "Fuck." she cursed as the last bit of sky disappeared from view and she was swallowed totally by the darkness; below her though a tiny spot of darkness was beginning to grow...  
>"Maybe it's the fire at the center of the earth," she mused. "At least it would be a quick death... falling into a pit of lava. Now that I think about it, it is getting warmer in here..."<p>

The spot of light began to grow exponentially and Mello's breath quickened in anticipation of whatever she was going to land in when she reached it. It grew faster than she could process and with a thump she hit was in a funny room, but more importantly than that: what was she _wearing_?  
>She glanced down at herself in surprise. Mello had been wearing dark pants and a simple black tee-shirt; now however, she was wearing an old fashioned blue dress complete with a white apron. On her feet were black mary-janes and, feeling her hair with disgust, her blond hair was pulled back with a satin ribbon... "Bloody hell," she mumbled, pulling out the bow. "I look like some stupid girly-girl."<p>

Once she fixed her outfit to her satisfaction, ripping off the apron and the horrid lacy white knee socks, she studied the room that she was in. It was tiled from floor to ceiling with a chandelier casting flickering shadows on the walls. In the center of the room was a glass table and around the room were seven wooden doors. She tried one through six and they were all locked tight. Groaning, she tried the final door which was only a foot tall; she pinched the tiny knob between her thumb and first finger but it was locked as well.

She growled, "I bet frickin' Near-rabbit could fit through this damn door!" After a minute or so of that, it finally occurred to her to check the table. On it was a small key... just the perfect size to fit through the tiny door. She tried it and, sure enough, the little door slid open. She shoved her face through the opening; on the other side was was a wild garden with bright flowers everywhere. Unlike the England she had come from, the sun was shining and the sky was devoid of clouds.

"Damn!" She stalked back to the table with the full intention of smashing the glass table to smithereens, when something caught her eye. On the table was a delicate looking medicine bottle wearing a tag that said 'drink me'.

She picked up the bottle and lay down the key... It could be poison, she thought. Or it could be the only thing that gets me out of here... The only other possibility she could think of was waiting until she was so skinny that she could fit through the door...

What the hell, she never was a patient girl. Unscrewing the cap, she lifted the bottle to her lips and took a small sip. She frowned; her toes tingled. Mello set the bottle back on the table. In a second, the ground seemed to shoot up to meet her and she was swallowed by the mountain of fabric that was her clothes...

Mello looked down at herself, expecting to see her naked body, but realized that she was wearing a smaller replica of the now giant dress.

"Weird..." she mumbled. "I'm not gonna put anything past this place anymore..." She ran to the door and almost started to cry; the door was locked again and the key was up on the table... She swore when she proved unable to climb the table leg, but next to it was a glass dish the same size as her... In it was a large cake with the words 'eat me' written in frosting.

Please make me big enough to reach the table, she prayed as she took a handful of cake and stuffed it in her mouth. She felt a stretching sensation in her spine and started to shoot toward the ceiling. Her dress ripped off as she grew out of it and her head brushed the ceiling. Her eyes widened in alarm as she kept growing, but finally she stopped when her bare back was pressed against the cold stone ceiling.

She crouched down on her heals to see the tiny table. Brushing the key into her palm she drained the rest of the bottle, which felt like a drop, into her mouth and once more shrunk to the size of the door.

Once in the garden she stared around in wonder, admiring the fantastic plants and animals that were all so different from the ones at home. She had no clue where she was going or how she was going to get home, but wandering in the woods had landed her in this twisted place and it might get her back home again...

As she walked into the Forest the trees began to get bigger and bigger, blocking out more and more of the sky... Two dark shaped stood in front of her and she approached her cautiously. They were two boys, eighteen or nineteen, and looked as though they could be twins. They had the same dark tousled hair, pale skin, bad posture, and dark bags under their eyes. The only difference Mello could see was that one was wearing a black shirt and the other, a white one. They looked almost like-

"Who goes there?" the twins asked in unison.

She ignored them, "B? Is that you? And where am I?"

"We asked you first, Alice, " said black-shirt.

"I asked louder, and who the hell is Alice?"

"Fair enough," said white-shirt. "I'm Tweedle-L and my comrade is Tweedle-B."

"No!" Tweedle-B yelled. "I'm Tweedle-B!"

Tweedle-L sighed in frustration, "it's the same thing!"

"No, how come you always have to come first! Every time someone comes through here, you say 'Tweedle-L' first!"

"I wasn't aware you felt that strongly about it," Tweedle-L said without changing expression in the slightest.

"Well I do!"

"Excuse me!" Mello yelled loudly. They both turned to her and spoke:

"Yes, Alice?"

"I'm not Alice! All I want is the way back home."

"This way" they said together pointing the opposite directions.

"I give up with you two..." she grumbled heading off to the right of them; leaving them arguing behind her...

She walked for a while before she saw a cloud of blueish smoke. Coughing, she headed to the center of the cloud; a large blue caterpillar sat on a mushroom smoking a hookah pipe. He saw her. "Whoooo," he asked. "Are youuuu?"

"Not this again... I'm Mello."

"You look quite a bit like Alice..."

"At this point I don't really care who the hell Alice is... I just want to know which way to go!"

"Well, where are you going?"

"Home!"

"And where would that be?" he asked, puffing out a blue smoke ring.

"I don't know! That's what I'm asking you!" she shouted, losing her tempter.

"Well my dear, I can't help you find home if you don't know where home even is... It simple doesn't compute..."

"Why is everyone in this place so fucking cryptic..." she mumbled. "Whatever, you're obviously not any help at all." Mello, thoroughly irritated by this point, stomped off into the woods. About a half mile later, she came upon an even stranger sight: a large striped cat hanging upside down in midair.

"Well," it spoke. "If it isn't Alice..."

She sighed, too used to it by this point to care, "It isn't."

"Well then, what did happen to your arm?" he disappeared and reappeared next to the scratch on her arm.

"Tree," she mumbled.

"It needs to be cleaned by someone with evaporating skills..."

She jerked her arm away from him, "I'd rather you didn't."

He grinned and floated upside down again, "very well then. At least let me bind it for you." He took a piece of blue fabric and wrapped it around her arm. Then he slowly began to disappeared until only the grin remained. I've seen a cat without a grin, thought Mello, but I've never seen a grin without a cat. Aloud, however, she simply said: "this just gets more and more fucked up."

The cat reappeared. "No, no.. That's not what Alice says... The real Alice says 'curiouser and curiouser.'"

Mello scowled, "do I look like I care what Alice says?"

"Very well then, I'll take you to Hatter and the Hare..."

"Who?"

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><p><strong>AN- I apologize for any mistakes, i typed this on google docs and their spell-check sucks. Please review if you are reading this!**


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